A SUICIDE NOTE(with a difference!!!!!!!!)

the first murder i committed was the girl i loved....yes,its true,i killed Ruchi,its been almost a year now,it was her birthday,we had known each other for over a year and i had fallen for her in the course of time....i didnt know her side of the story but she did admire me a lot.On her birthday,she took me to a beautiful dam in our city,she said i was the closest friend she ever had,i saw positive signs,i thought this was the right time to say it,then......i proposed,i said i loved her,but in reply she said she had thought of me always as a friend and that she loved someone else and had already found the true love of her life.......a cold rage took over me,i couldnt control myself,i felt betrayed,cheated upon,i was angry,i slowly moved closer to her,in rage i hit her,then i held her dupatta around her neck,i strangled her to death,she was choking in front of my eyes,and i was smiling,in a few minutes as i cooled down,i realized the gravity of my mistake,i sw the time,it was 12:03 0n my watch,lunch break had just started in college,i quickly got on my bike and left the spot unnoticed,i took the dupatta with me,i starightway went to my hostel mess and started eating,i thanked god that no one had seen me or known that i was with her the last,or else i could have got caught,i was safe,i should have felt the guilt atleast,but i didnt feel any remorse on killing her,i felt she got what she deserved.

A few months later one of my friends told me he was in love,and the girl had also fallen for him....rajesh told me this after we had celebrated his birthday in his hostel room at midnight.I went to my room after the celebration,i didnt sleep the whole night,i was again feeling the same rage towards my friend that i had felt towards ruchi,the similarities were too annoying to me,both had found true love,both shared there truest feelings with me.I have been a bit of a maths freak all my life,so i also figured out the similarity that both used spectacles of power 0.5...i felt he had to meet the same fate,so ragefully i got up from my bed and went to his room,the time must have been around 4.30 in the morning,no one was there in the corridor,everything was quite,i entered his room through the already open door,he woke up when i closed the door behind me,he asked me the reason to come to his room this late at night,i confessed my previous murder to him,i showed him the dupatta,then i put it around his neck and choked him to death after a brief struggle.He was strong,but no match for me.i looked at my watch,it said 4:56,I quickly went to my room and straight to my bed,making sure no one saw me,leaving no traces behind.This time again,instead of guilt,i felt a sense of accomplishment,i felt proud o f myself.i thought logically both the people i had killed were deerving what they got,and both served no purpose to the earth in their lives,so better dead.

after killing my freind and escaping succesfully i started looking for more victims,it felt as if this was the soul purpose of my existence,6 months later i found my next target.My maths teacher in college told me that he was very fond of me,and my love for maths reminded him of his own days.college gossip told me that his was a love marriage and a very happy one at that....he was slowly fulfilling the criterion to be my next victim.one day after class,we were having a chat,just out of he blue i asked him the power of his reading glasses,he said it was 0.5,but asked me why?i didnt give him the real reason,then i asked him his birthday,he said it was just round the corner,it was the coming sunday and invited me to his place...

that sunday i went to his house first thing in the morning at around 6:30,he was startled at seeing me that early,but still invited me inside,he told me he was alone because his wife was out of staion for a few days,i quickly grasped my oppurunity,put the dupatta around his neck and strangled him after a bit of struggle...within a few minutes i could see raghu sir lying on his couch upside down,helplessly dead.another one of my accomplishments,another good for nothing person dead.i looked at my watch,it was 7:08,exactly the time i had wanted.i left his house immediately and went to my hostel unnoticed once agian,i was starting to like this......infact i was loving it.......

soon my search for my next victim started,and i found her in my own house.Rajeshwari ahuja was my mother.a single mother at that,she always told me stories of my wonderful father and how much he loved her and me,who died in an accident when i was very young.It was the last day of my semester break,it was her birthday,the power of her glasses was 0.5,she loved me,but i was under rage,she fulfilled all the conditions,she had got true love,her case was too similar to ruchi's,i had to kill her.so in the morning of her birthday,i went into her room with the dupatta,told her everything and did my job,it was only logical that i kill her,i made sure the time to be exact 9:00..then i reached the station,took my train and came back to my college,starting off a new semester.

In the days that followed,i constantly thought about my next target,but couldnt find one...until one day my head started aching while doing my maths sums,i went to an eye specialist the next day,he told me i would need spectacles,power 0.5...i said,now i didnt need them,my birthday was coming up in a few days,i pondered over the possibilty for a long time....

this was perhaps a fitting end,i too had after all found love from all around me,although i killed those people,my eyes were also with the same power now,i too,after all,was good for nothing on this earth,and logic had left me just one moment in time to do my job,it had to be 0:00,yes,zero,where it all begins,and logically where it all should end....

all my murders were commited at a times with progression(12.03,4.56,7.08,9.00),and so,its 5 minutes to midnight(0.00)tommorow is my birthday,with the same dupatta around my neck,i hereby confess to all the above mentioned murders,and also my own murder,its not a suicide,its a logical murder,a progression,a fitting end to my life...

signing off

RAJ(yes,my name too begins with an 'r' like all the others')